the nobility of the broken ones


trodden and shattered
fragmented and torn apart.
crushed like a paste
in a stone mortar-
in a state of purification
almost-
 being grounded for every bit of
substance to come out-
for the essence to seep
out  little by little
to the very basic compound
that is you.
the you that is not
the dust of the earth
but the noble one born
out of brokeness
out of suffering
out of tears.
because in all this chaos
there is clarity,
there is truth
because you who are broken
you are the real hero-
in the midst of the shattering-
the real you
the broken you
the warrior you-
who fought with
such tenacity against
the world
stood up to say-
i will try again.



by kaye

The Luminous Light

faint glow

a streak of tiny

proportion

held my eye

to that glimmer of light.

i held my hand in it

and watched as

the hairs on my arm

sway rythmically.

the debris of particles

surrounding it

swirling, tip toeing

round and round

in an almost

careful way...

it is astonishing
how this smallish 
gleam of light-

it's very existence

challenged by the 
darkness around it,

almost engulfed

and overwhelmed.

yet there it lay,
unobscured,

bold, courageous and

impenetrable.
barely a flare
perhaps a flicker,
 but rebellious and
unyielding to the 
aphotic void
surrounding it.
and despite its 
smallness, 
its frailty-
it is able to 
guide the blindest
of men to safety,
to freedom, to an
awakening-
to a light even more
luminous than itself. 
it is astonishing that
it already is a victor 
by nature in every
sense of the word
albeit oft'times
unbeknownst to it.

by kaye

Goodbye 

an elegy

freed from the

suffering
the horrid
sense of doom
which lingered but

you, like a bird

that escaped,

stretched those

wings and flew away.

death caught you
unawares-
you stood there 
in that one spot
while the world
around you reeled,
tumbled and turned
into a frightful
mess of uncertainties.

you slipped 

ever so quietly

when nobody was

around.

you took a one last

look at every person

that you have loved

and knew it

was alright to go.

because you-
you were 
the brave one.
you withstood the test,
you bowed down
your head to fulfill
what was meant to be.
you waited
until you came home.

to a place so

beautiful
and light,
a place where suffering
is unknown, 
a place where

you would never
suffer any pain nor

want to leave

ever again.

Rest in Peace Papa Rudy

by kaye

The Unraveling

For growth to take place 
we cannot only stay 
under the glow of the sun, 

the top of the mountain, 
the settledness of the plains, 
or the boat in the waters. 

sometimes God allows us 
to get familiar with the night

 where we can only take 
one step at a time guided by 
the faint light of stars, 

the valleys where we can
 at times get stuck, 

or even made to dive
 into deep waters where 
we are forced to come up 
for air to breathe. 

And this coming up for air moments
 at first can be shattering 

because it's a 'letting go' 
of everything we bottle up inside, 
it's an unraveling of some sort. 

And it's uncomfortable 
because we put our hearts 
out on our sleeve 

for everyone to see 
but as much as it is awkward-

it is also the bravest, 
it is also authenticity. 

It is also being human. 

 and now I realize these are 
groundbreaking moments for me. 

These are the growing up phases 
where all my roots have
started to burrow deeper into
the very core of my soul
being shaken rudely out of itself
to make way for new strength
that is made out of
extraordinary courage 
and tenacity.
at last I have come to a place
where I am stripped naked
of me and I have opened my hands
to the sky and pray with
an utterance that no man
can ever understand.
and in this quietness,
in this season of solitude
and doubts-
I have heard Him.
somehow a certainty 
gripped me and saved me
from my fall. 
It brought me to a place 
where God is telling me

 'just trust me I know what I'm doing'. 



by kaye

i find solace in words

like fruits being

plucked from a tree-

these thoughts

quite juicy and ripe

are oft times lost

 in the nomadic jumble

of this busy life.

and yet each word
that accumulates
in my head

 has a thread that needs

to be re-traced-

perhaps to a

secret path,

a secret garden.
a place i could come to
over and over again.

hence i strive

to pick up the 

crumb trails of the day;

tying them furiously

in knots and fringes-

weaving them in

in the tapestry of days and

months and years...

lest i end up losing

bits and pieces of me
in the day when i will truly
need to remember
who i am.

by kaye

SPECTATOR

he held your hand

and your eyes were shut.

shut and would 

never open again to see him.

no, not here in this lifetime.

not here in this world.

I closed my eyes and held 

the lump in my throat

as he caressed your face

one last time.

it's too painful to watch,

as the rawness of life etched itself

in my own soul.

i closed the door and rolled 

shut the blinds.

here i am an

unworthy spectator

of a love that has been

taken away too soon.

I have seen enough

to memorize this moment-

as the warmth of his wet cheek

touched your cold, blue skin

i felt his own heart die a death.

i felt the angst opened a hole

underneath his feet

to swallow him whole.
i heard everything that
was left unsaid,
his murmurings of love
and helplessness...
i noticed the trembling
of his lips,
and felt the heavy void 
that was about to come
and consume him.

his very being has changed, 

froze, numbed.

'i am not ready to say

goodbye to you'

i heard him whispher 

into your ear.

and somehow in the
 quiet silence of the room,

i hear you say-

'me too.'

by kaye

AFTER THE WINTER

the dawn has come

the light is piercing the darkness,

scattering every shadow

driven by a certain madness.

we thought there was no hope

but in death life resurrected

shoots unfurling ever so gently

unassuming yet awaited.

the birds begun to sing loudly

the psalms of early morn,

all breaths were held in silence

as a brand new day is born;

the blades of grass whose coats

were draped in wintry, icy frost-

their heads hung low

in sorrow 
as if all hope was lost...

has now begun to straighten up

as the sun started to rise
bringing hope and resurrection
even beyond the eventide.


by kaye

Le Marveilleux Paris`

narrative

Exhilirated. Drowned by the parfume' scented air, every muscle and sinew came alive 
seduced by the art and poetry of the city. The glass pinnacles of Palais de Louvre, 
the rococco trimmings and renaissance architecture of Versailles, the seemingly 
endless rows of topiaries and gardens, the water fountains with elaborate baroque designs,
the museums are fattened with art of glories past, spilling over with gold gilded
paintings and marble sculptures, with the headless, winged Samothrace` standing tall and proud.
Le Tour de Eiffel, towering everyone and everything, the sentinel,
The keeper of the city, illuminant la nuit.

Ahhh and not to forget- les beaux toits which i have loved at first sight-
where doves like the lovers of the land serenade each other with sonnets and songs.
Like a dream i wandered along the River Seine and with flushed cheeks 
i looked away as the lovers in your arms kiss with abandon. Invisible. Invincible.

The streets filled quickly with the mouth watering aroma of baking pastries in the morning- 
extravagantly displayed in jeweled cases like royal treasure: 

Crepe`s au fromage, caramel au buerre, tarte au fraises`, le` macarons. 
Mmmm...nourriture exquis`.

And the beautiful offerings from the breath-catching parfumerie`, boutique de robes,
and Artisan chocolateries which dotted every corner of the city. 

Ahh joie de vivre`! I left my heart in Paris....but I will come back again for you-
le marveilluex Paris`!

US

touch me

from within.

reach to the very depths

of my soul and

with unfettered wings

lead me to the sun,

the gilded edges stained

with gold.

liberate me

from the dark,

where gawking 

shadows hide;

let loose the flame

of holy fire like

consumed beings 

in the even tide.

 with nonchalance

we run to escape,

 feet barely touching

the earth-

here's to us!

here's to the brave!
stripped naked of 
every carnal worth.

but alas!

in sojourning

the end of time has 
caught up with  us,

as we stood in the
 fields of wheat 

your hand in mine,

we flew to the heritage of

the free at last.

so now...

hold me

as we trek the

rest of the land,

the breadth of the world

in the palm of 
our scarred hands.
where love transcends
yet remain unuttered,
where songs flow like
the river wild,
where light consumes
our whole being
forever in you and me
will abide.

by kaye

She Left Christ on the Windowsill

Burdened by the weight 

that she carries, that to her

 seemed to go heavier by the day

and the world out there clamoring for her

waving and shouting out her name-

'there is no need for all that sacrifice,

there is no need for all that pain,

there is no need for living out for others

the world is your oyster

come on out and play some games'.

So try as she might with her own strength,

her arms finally weakened to their call

though her heart within her was broken

she succumbed and let her burden fall.
the cracks of her doubts seemed to widen
their reasoning appealed to her most
and so the guard was let down with a sigh
thinking- 'finally i can live my life'
 not knowing it comes with such a great cost.

She started to forget who she really is
and packed all her things and left home.
She broke some hearts along the way
but all she wants is to be left alone.
She took all her valuables with her
but left one that sits on the windowsill-
an old picture of her beloved Jesus
whose voice she heard
for His word to fulfill...

So as she took one last look at that picture
her heart ached most to disappoint Him
but though deep inside there is some love left,
she took her bags and drove away to a life of sin.
And sitting there on her windowsill
in her empty room-
along with the leftover clothes and rubbish
was a picture of our Lord amidst the gloom.

Perhaps there were tears in His eyes too
as He watch her pack her things and go-
maybe his heart was quietly breaking
as her hand went for that front door.
But if there is one thing that is certain
if there is one thing that is true-
that our God is great and faithful,
and can make old things like brand new.

His Word came to accomplish
to claim every victory and answer every pray'r,
He will seek out every son and daughter
that is lost in the worlds sinful lair.
You might decide to leave Him somewhere,
and pretend you haven't met Him at all.
You might deny you ever knew Him,
and ignore every faithful call.

You might take all of your valuables and riches
and leave His memory behind
but Jesus' love for you is eternal
and in His heart your name is inscribed.
His compassion is like a flowing fountain
and His mercy is beyond compare-
so even if we oft'times forsake Him,
Christ will always forgive and forbear.
He will not loose a soul that belongs to Him
for we are kept in the bosom of His heart;
and under the token of His promise
no loved one from us will ever depart.



by kaye

Penned for someone i know who is going through a painful separation. 

tears cured by salt.

crashing against my flesh,

pounding

me from the inside.

threatening

to relieve itself 

and seep out 

of every pore of my body.

the hairline cracks,

the faint flash

of dismalness in the eye;

they have to remain

as they are-

hints to a 

smithereened heart.

prisoners of sorrow.

do not even dare to

break down the wall

because I am trying

to live through this.

I accept all-

the retribution, 

the reapings,

the desolation; 

the ache of a 

thousand nights without you.

I am forlorn and forsaken

by a love that will never

pass my way again.

It is with the utmost regret

that I say goodbye to you.

that now, I too 

will turn my back on us.

for that yearning

to go away, to leave...

people say I can start again-

but you will always be

 embedded in my soul,

in every fibre and muscle,

in every memory, every scent.

I will see you in the shadow

of someone,

in the smile of another,

in the space next to me

when i fall asleep.

but i will cleave to the

memory of you in my heart-
the way you smile,
 the way your eyes light up,
the feel of your mouth 
pressing against mine...

and yet despite the 
great crashing 
of the waves within,
despite the mad stirring
of untamed waters-

i will never forget.
no, not I
not you.

by kaye

PERFECT LOVE

All the letters stitched together

by fumbling hearts and wearied minds

can never capture the kind of love You have

in words of any humankind.

Your love so great and so untainted,

a love so pure as pure can be

the kind that scatters away all darkness

and brings the most hardened soul unto their knees.

A love that stood through time unrequited 

a love that embraces everything we are,

A quiet strength that grounds the shakiest of hearts-

that is the only kind of it by far.

For all our feeble attempts at loving

 always end up in selfish gain;

how truly fraile and lost we have become

as we endure our own brokenness and pain.

But Love Himself was birthed in a manger

one night in Bethlehem,

in ragged clothes You came to show us

of a love that does not judge nor condemn;

instead Love became incarnate
at the cross on Calvary,

when the God of all heavens and earth

endured such pain and suffering for me.

And even if it was for just one man
Love would ever do the same-

for He left the ninety nine sheep in the fold

to redeem the lost one that was sick and lame.
Never think that His love will not reach you
for height nor depth does not matter at all-
Christ's love is perfect and all encompassing,
and can break down the strongest of walls.

All creation and all of the universe
spoke of this perfect Love,
for they know the name of their Maker
and give praises to Him up above.
Jesus Christ
the Lion of Judah,
the most precious Lamb of God,
the sweetest Lily of the valley,
Has perfected within us His love-
in vessels of clay we come stuttering,
stumbling on our way through...
and yet it pleased Him to see us
to become exactly like Him too.

To also become Love incarnate
to also not judge or condemn,
to also look for the lost ones,
to also be life to the dead,
to also light the path of others,
to also give praise to His name,
 to also lift the brokenhearted
to become like Him- One and the same.


By kaye